A point of view by Sylvia Sepielli
In a world that often sounds like an echo chamber, SPABITCHGURU says what others think but don’t dare say. Sylvia created it to help others do the same—with Grace and Guts.
Discover the philosophy
About
SPABITCHGURU celebrates the dichotomy between the SPABITCH—dark, moody, creative, demanding and mysterious—and the bright, bold, logical, strategic, equable and comprehensible GURU. We all embody both.
Spa and wellness industry know-how is charged with modern creative direction. A relentless warrior spirit meets restorative purpose.
Sylvia Sepielli is the creator of SPABITCHGURU. For more than three decades, she has challenged convention and shaped distinctive spa, wellness and luxury experiences around the world.
What Sylvia is most proud of are the hardworking, talented people she has mentored over the years, many of whom are now leaders in spa and wellness. She also cherishes the young people from around the world who have been trained and given opportunities to help carry forward the traditions of their Indigenous healing cultures.
SPABITCHGURU is Sylvia’s way of giving back: sharing what she has learned and helping people live more boldly and authentically.
In May 2026, Sylvia completed the 88 Temple Pilgrimage of Shikoku, Japan. She walked 248 miles; the other 452 were spent hopping trains, trolleys and buses, and driving for miles on adventures with strangers who quickly became friends. For ten weeks, she was a henro—a pilgrim—carrying only what she needed and nothing more.
At first, Sylvia chose the pilgrimage because she had never intentionally done anything that challenged her mentally, physically and spiritually. To authentically lead others as a “Path Guide,” she needed to take such a journey herself. Through a year of preparation, however, it became something more: a purpose to share the journey with those who could not join her.
The lessons Sylvia carried home changed her life and deepened SPABITCHGURU—an evolving community for independent thinkers who want to speak freely, act boldly and live more authentically.
For a glimpse of Sylvia’s pilgrimage, visit @spabitchguru on Instagram or SBG on Facebook.
Offerings
SPABITCHGURU begins with community—and creates room for honest conversation, independent thought and bolder choices.
Destination gatherings for curious, independent thinkers ready to question the expected. Learning Clubs continue the conversation closer to home—one provocative question at a time, with no lectures, prescribed answers or need to arrive knowing anyone. Come curious. Leave more willing to speak freely, act boldly and live as yourself.Begin a Conversation
Provocative, human conversations created for the people in the room—and designed to remain with them long after the room empties.View the talks
Customized, participatory experiences that turn SPABITCHGURU ideas into choices people can examine, practice and use.Begin a Conversation
Sylvia’s experience translated into strategic judgement, creative direction and distinctive concepts for leaders, organizations and place-based experiences.Begin a Conversation
Keynotes & Conversations
Sylvia teaches leaders to protect human judgement, individual identity and excellence when certainty disappears.
A candid, energizing invitation for women—and anyone ready to stop shrinking—to speak freely, act boldly and live more fully as themselves.
Meet disruption without giving away the values and instincts that make leadership human.
The courage to become—not just be.
Wisdom
A selection of posts from the SPABITCHGURU Instagram. To experience the journey from its inception on March 31, 2025, through today—including videos and much more—follow @spabitchguru.
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We are not made whole by choosing one side of ourselves over another.
Tenderness & Strength
Instinct & Intellect
Grace & Guts
Contrast makes us whole.
What seeming contradiction within you has become one of your greatest strengths? Let me know in the comments!
This Sicilian Aquarian has just joined @LinkedIn. Those who know me well know how LOATHE I am to be “social” on social media.
However, I also want SPABITCHGURU to expand reach.
I’m still figuring out “Connect” and “Follow”. One can seemingly connect with and follow a limitless number of people.
It got me thinking about connection. How many connections, either social or professional, have any personal significance?
The Internet & AI algorithmic connections can never come close to what the French call “coeur a coeur”, heart to heart, connections. It describes a deep, intimate, & emotionally vulnerable discussion between two people. Heart connection can happen immediately between two strangers. Or, develop over trusted time.
It’s a soulful exchange rather than transactional. And, it’s deeply satisfying when two people truly connect.
Treasure those precious “heart to heart” connections.
Great article:
Coeur à coeur: Understanding heart-to-heart connections
☮️ 🤍 🕉️
As are YOU!
So happy you are reading this.
I look forward to getting to know you better!
☯️💟☯️
Sylvia
My nine week journey in Japan is over. I’ve returned to America. Thank you all for joining me. My heart is full of love!
A special thank you to @sphere_kyoko
We met at Temple 21 Tairyuji & stayed connected throughout. We spent time together going to temples in the T80’s. She became a spiritual sister & teacher. We share many similar interests & Divine synchronicities.
Kyoko guided me through the powerful Koyasan experience, arranged every aspect of our trip, including our stay @koyasan_hongakuin Temple Shukubo. It was a humbling honor to be cared for by the kind, attentive priests. The inexplicable weekend was filled with joy & awe.
Another thank goes to dear @kumimamunia who I met the day after I arrived in Shikoku. What began as an Henro (Pilgrim) orientation quickly developed into a friendship. Kumiko provided the literal & practical guidance for the 23 temples of Tokushima Prefecture. And, she cheerleaded me through the entire 88.
My family was the foundational support from the day I started training over a year ago. @hunterchiparmstrong was my “subject matter” expert for training, recovery, nutrition, & husbandly encouragement.
As I trained, my son, Hunter, @armstrongaskesis was going through the rigors of the Marine Corps Infantry Officer Training. That, & his Kilimanjaro tips made my trek look like a walk in the park. I was inspired.
@samaire.xoxo provided the TLC only a daughter can give. A @spabitchguru from birth, Samaire & Chip went to Nagoya while I was in Shikoku for her ceremony to receive a Mokuroku, Senior Shunpukan Dojo certificate.
This will be my final post on the “88 Temple Pilgrimage Shikoku”.
Life is now “before 88” and “after”.
“After” includes the continuation of deep engagement with SPABITCHGURUS.
HERE WE GO!
☯️💟☯️
Sylvia
KAGAWA Prefecture
“Nirvana”
I’ve entered Kagawa Prefecture, the dojo of “Nirvana”, the final phase of the 88 Temple Pilgrimage Shikoku.
Like “Enlightenment”, “Nirvana” is a word used lightly. Most westerners are familiar only with the Zen concept.
Similarities between Shingon Buddhism & Zen are many.
Shingon, from a writing of Kobo Daishi called “shokujin jobutsu”, says that Nirvana is “attaining buddhahood in this very body” and realizing one’s true nature, not something after death.
Zen also believes that Nirvana or enlightenment happens in this life. Either through spontaneous self realization of one’s true nature or the practice of meditation.
Shingon’s direct approach is much more complex and involves guided practice with mantras (sacred chants), mudras (sacred hand gestures), and mandalas (visualizations of symbols & deities).
In Shingon having reached Nirvana one joins with the cosmic Buddha, known as Dainichi Nyorai & the realization of that non-duality.
Zen is non-theistic.
One of the biggest misconceptions about Nirvana with both religions is the relief of Samsara, all suffering. Both teach that Samsara & Nirvana are non-dual. That is the ultimate extinguishment.
EHIME Prefecture
“ENLIGHTENMENT”
Time spent in Ehime is about reaching “Enlightenment”.
If one practices Esoteric Shingon Buddhism, the bar is quite high. One is guided & must become aligned with their True Nature through the practice of rituals, mantras, mudras (hand gestures), and meditation. It’s a difficult practice, but like most organized religions, ritual & dogma are the guidebooks.
If I were to have written this post before I started the 88 Temple Pilgrimage Shikoku, I would have easily scribbled down the commonly spewed lingo of “Enlightenment”. There’s the 18th Century gents who began the whole “Age of Reason” version. And there are the spiritual, if not religious, versions that focus on non-duality, self-realization, the “aha” moment. Every Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness coach gives the same spiel.
I’ve been on the Pilgrimage for a little over a month now. Have gone through two Prefectures:
Tokushima
“Spiritual Awakening”
Kochi
“Ascetic Training”
I don’t know what to say about Enlightenment. Because I just don’t know yet. Does one tell people when they are Enlightened? I think not.
But. I may already be.
The longer I’m on this Pilgrimage, the more respect I have for Pilgrims who walk the entire route. I’ve met several and seen more from the windows of a bus. I am embarrassed sitting high on a bus. And grateful to be doing it how I am able.
Kochi’s dojo is “Ascetic Training”. Temples are few and far between. The entire Prefecture has only 16 temples.
The longest distance is between T37 & T38 is about 52 miles and takes 3 days.
The isolation can be extreme. The brutal coastal path, relentless pavement and steep mountain terrain are all there to provide the required lessons & tests of intent.
Food, bathing, & lodging is hard to come by, even booking many months ahead.
This training “fosters spiritual growth through deliberate hardships”.
HMmmm. If they’re deliberate & you don’t really mind, does it still count?
Kochi Prefecture T25–39; I’m on the Path.
Along with mantras repeated daily on the 88 Temple Pilgrimage Shikoku, “Walk as if each step is guided by Divine Light” echos in my mind.
As a SPABITCHGURU, know:
Confidence does not need to be “built up”.
Your place doesn’t need to be “earned”. You just need to acknowledge it.
Tokushima
“Spiritual Awakening”
It’s not lost on me that every line starts with “MY”.
As part of MY Spiritual Awakening, Kukai must be trying to get my attention. After all, one should be detached from material possessions. It’s ok to have, or not to have. Grasping neither.
Other than the backpack cover, these are items that are with me EVERY day. You can see plenty of photos with me wearing them. Of no great value. Just stuff I use/need/want.
It’s a big “SO, THERE!” I can laugh about it. Well, not the visor, but in general.
I hope I’ve let go enough that I can step into Kochi Prefecture, Dojo of Ascetic Training, and move on from losing stuff. Or not.
Devotees of Shingon Esoteric Buddhism believe that if the 88 Temple Pilgrimage Shikoku is completed with pure intent, one may reach Nirvana in this lifetime.
Nirvana is the relief of rebirth & freedom from Samsara, suffering.
Each of the four dojos (places of learning) offer challenges and lessons. This Pilgrimage is the literal & metaphorical “Path” that will ultimately lead to Nirvana.
Moving forward one step at a time.
Tokushima
“Spiritual Awakening”
Eager, naive Henro walking into temple
Getting STORMED by the Bus Tour Henros who, literally, RAN from station to station.
Metal lanterns at T1 Rozenji Temple
Always light three sticks of incense at each incense station.
Eri, 27 yr old, first time Henro, walking and CAMPING. ERI 48k, backpack 22k. Saved my butt! We walked together ALLLLL DAY LONG! She kept track of obscure signs, and Google Maps that knew the way. I occasionally caught on. It was such fun. That’s a whole story for another time.
Path finding sign 🧭
Forest path
Encouragement for Henros: “Kick away this hardship”
Eri @namikata.okoshi coffee& milk maven, adventurer, free spirit, @SPABITCHGURU, @papa_883 cycles all over Japan. Now is doing Shikoku.
@papa_883 and his bike
It was QUITE a day. Started at 6:45; returned at 19:30. Racked up 13.5 miles.
Next day recovery.
In the early days when ANARA Spa (now @kohalaspa) was a Hyatt, my time was filled with learning the unwritten rules of surviving & thriving in a corporate setting.
I learned that reason did not come before “rules”. Female managers were required to wear pantyhose… in Hawaii’s humid 75–85° weather.
Meeting upper management expectations involved subtle awareness, & subtle preventative measures.
When the GM, Ed Crovo, (who we loved) would walk down the Spa Grand Staircase: If the incense was lit, all was well. If it was not lit, he would find a myriad of problems during his walkthrough.
When the inimitable Regional VP, Pat Cowell, (who many feared but I hit it off with) arrived in the gym at 6:00am: Shit kicker music was playing.
When the pompous temporary Corporate guy showed up for his workouts later at 6:00PM: AC/DC would be blaring. Not because we cared about his needs but because he would make everyone’s lives miserable.
Moral of the story: In life & business it’s often the little things that count.
@gregcrovo @cchipcrovo send my warmest aloha to Ed & Sally for me!
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the blessings and gratitude I have in my life.
Giving thanks on this, and every, day!
The silent slither of a project getting out of bounds is called Scope Creep. It happens in almost every project despite clear agreements, verbal explanations, & pushback or reminders that additional billing is required.
It’s easy to handle when it’s glaring. But like teen love, one thing leads to another and before you know it you have an entirely NEW project on your hands.
Almost every consultant I know provides more value than their signed agreement suggests. We all want success for the client & the project.
But how do you handle the situation when the additional asks become routine & the client increasingly demanding?
There’s a point when you just have to be a SPABITCHGURU. The earlier you set standards, the easier it becomes. Practice the art of saying “YES, I can add that to my billing”.
Notice patterns. If you find there are issues or conversations that keep creeping up with different projects, add that scope to your next agreement form.
I KNOW when I start a project I will do “whatever it takes” for success. So I charge a flat monthly fee. The agreement is a rough outline of deliverables. I no longer do market surveys, comp sets, or financials. My time & their money is better spent on other topics.
Projects & personalities take on a unique life of their own. Make sure you can enjoy the work!
I’d love to hear how some of you handle “Scope Creep”.
Always go for the position or role that is higher than your qualifications.
Bite off more than you can chew. Just don’t choke.
Failure trying something hard, new, or different is a learning experience.
Failure at something you are qualified for is totally unacceptable.
Waltzing into a position that is ‘a piece of cake’ is limiting.
Be a @spabitchguru. Getting yourself in tight situations enables expanding your capacity. Be willing to take some hits.
SPABITCH occasionally supersedes GURU
Tag a bestie who can relate!
I’ve been using social media more in the last several months than I have altogether the last several years.
I’ve observed some things about myself.
I scroll through & view hundreds of posts a week.
The number of times I actually hit ❤️ is minuscule in comparison to the number of posts I actually like and/or agree with.
I, personally, have never had a problem speaking up. My mother always encouraged it. It got me in trouble with the nuns at Catholic school. My mouth got me both into & out of dicey situations.
A few days ago I posted a video about being fearless and speaking your mind. But I now realize that for many people the vocalization of their beliefs is way beyond what they can/will do. I understand that.
They don’t want people to know they agree with this or that.
Perhaps they don’t want to feed the Meta beast more data.
But, stop being the guest who always comes to the party empty-handed. If you are feasting on content, literally the LEAST you can do, especially on issues that are meaningful to you, is tap ❤️.
Be a #spabitchguru.
We are blessed with free speech.
Be fearless
Speak your mind
Listen with an open heart
Does it really matter?
What would Krishna say?
SPA KISSES
spontaneous
aerated
perfunctory
habitual
performative
We can all relate.
You likely have given and received Spa Kisses. I have, as well.
They are emotional fillers when a handshake is too formal and a hug too intimate.
The giver typically leans in, often bracing & distancing themself from the receiver, while the recipient dutifully offers a raised chin & tilted head.
It’s quick, often with no actual contact.
But it is not entirely void of meaning. In fact, it can mean:
situational friendliness
I’m in a hurry
obligation
confusion
nervousness
At times, it’s TOTALLY appropriate.
But next time you are about to offer a Spa Kiss to someone, remember it likely hurts the psyche of a SPABITCHGURU. ☯️
Words that seem innocuous but are loaded with disrespect & presumption.
Words that imply your expertise is needed, but your time & value are disposable.
Words that can forever leave an ugly impression.
Can you just …
… throw together a spreadsheet for me?
… put together an equipment list?
… do a rough sketch?
… tell me what to do?
… stop doing what I asked you to do?
… start doing something totally irrelevant?
… give me your advice?
… stop talking so much?
… stop objecting?
Instead, can you just …
… be more considerate?
… be kinder?
Comment yours!
Swan analogy over-used? A bit.
Still true? ABSOLUTELY.
A more jock-ish saying was coined by an old friend, Phil Slott, when he wrote Gillette’s jingo for their Dry Idea Antiperspirant: “Never Let ’Em See You Sweat”. The iconic ads featured male & female celebrities.
Phil followed that up with a book by the same name, written specifically for presentations.
He explained how we are ALWAYS doing presentations, professional or not, intentional or not.
We are cool & impressive. No need to disclose or display the blood, sweat & tears. Classic #spabitchguru
Are you ready?
True family story.
This can be said of many project gatherings or with competition of ideologies.
If two people deign to discuss SUBSTANTIVE issues, it often becomes blatantly obvious that NO ONE is listening.
Silence is powerful.
Listening is informative.
Actively listen.
If your informed replies fall on deaf ears or there is no meaningful engagement … move on.
I said it.
Are your eyebrows raised?
It’s true.
What markers or pillars of Wellbeing are important to you?
Do you tick them off a list, check on them daily?
Do you nurture, evaluate, educate, practice, polish them with pleasure & pride?
How do you know when you are living in a state of Wellbeing?
Does it have a particular feeling? Is it sustainable? Does it matter?
We tend to stack our blocks of Wellbeing together and cling to what we accomplish. But to what end?
“Wellbeing” like everything else in life is ephemeral. Its true value appears when the markers come crashing down. When your health teeters on a thin line of breath, when social & emotional, economic, environmental stability & the basic sense of security are challenged. Or gone.
THAT’S when your true character comes out. When strength, determination & grit lead the way.
Wellbeing, the state, isn’t a goal. It’s preparation.
THAT’S why it’s important.
THAT’S why it’s overrated.
Our inherent nature is fluid, never strictly one aspect or another. Come along & flow with the constant play of yin & yang that is @spabitchguru
☯️💟☯️
Sylvia
For decades that was a frequent mantra of mine. I, inevitably, got very skillful at that flexibility.
I begrudgingly took ownership of that flexibility.
One day it hit me. What was so welcome about the storm? It was as if I was conjuring or calling for the storm.
In true @spabitchguru ☯️ fashion I immediately dropped the “welcome”. Shortly after, the entire mantra faded away.
Current events, personal, national, global, exhilarating, horrifying … enlightening … have me re-visiting the concept of “welcome”. The storm/s come. Period.
So I stand, arms outstretched, chin up, daring, inviting the chaos…
in awe of the welcome storm.
CREATE DISTINCTION
be the first
be the best
be the only
To truly stand out, to be memorable, you must be at least one of the three.
Which do you think is the toughest?
BALTER INTO JOY
WHAT YOU DO DETERMINES SUCCESS
Enough said.
This post could have been titled “Japan Calls,” “That Glimmer of a Thought,” or, “If Not Now, When.”
Instead, I went for “88 Temples Pilgrimage Shikoku,” also known as the OHenro Trail. These temples are sites where Kobo Daishi—“Kūkai” (774–835), who founded the esoteric Shingon school of Buddhism, performed ascetic religious practices. The full trail covers just over 700 miles.
We lived in Japan for about ten years in the late ’70s and into the ’80s. Both our children were born there. Just as Hawaii called to my heart, Japan has always fed my aesthetic desire.
I’ve very lightly, once in a decade or so, thought about taking the OHenro Pilgrimage. But only in a “wouldn’t that be cool?” kind of way. Until several weeks ago, it made a clear appearance in my consciousness & I decided to take the trail in Spring 2026.
Why?!
— experience a “sacred journey of ascetic training”
— test/observe my physical & spiritual capacity
— prepare as I can, then LET GO of expectations along the way
I found this painting I did in an old art book of mine, probably from the early ’80s. In a full circle of life, places, & practices, I’ll not only be journaling & posting on Instagram, I plan on carrying a book, pens, maybe watercolors, & painting as I go along.
I am blessed with unwavering support of the journey from my husband, daughter, & son, as well as of this year-long training program.
IT’S HAPPENING!
I’M JUST NOT LISTENING
Can you relate?
Famously said by @chiklaiping
Motivation mantra to do hard things, learn new things:
My anterior mid cingulate cortex is growing. 🙏 @hubermanlab
This saying has been around the construction/development industry for decades. No one can quite pinpoint the origin. Everyone agrees with the sentiment.
I’ve found the phases can apply to just about ANY project.
So, enjoy with detachment, observe freed of emotion, fearlessly flow through it all, & laugh at the end as you recall this:
SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT
enthusiasm
disillusion
panic
search for the guilty
punishment of the innocent
praise and glory for the non-participants
Marriott—you had to submit the exact number of treatments forecast. If off by one that day, you explained what happened to the lost treatment. I learned that from @janet.denyer.7. 🙏 for convincing me the spa industry was me❣️
Hyatt gave me enough rope to hang myself. Ed Crovo was GM at Waikoloa in the wild Hawaiian days. Many of us managed to stay on the untamed bull for at least 8 seconds. Ed was the responsible dad and his beautiful wife, Sally, everyone’s favorite sister. Thank you Ed, & Pat Cowell, for giving me the long & free rope❣️
@ccrovo11 @gregcrove
Learned A LOT from both companies.
Those of you who have worked with me are VERY familiar with this phrase. It refers to the overused, meaningless, stereotypical verbiage, behavior, & images.
“Re” words:
refresh, restore, rejuvenate … etc.
Images:
— naked back with two hands
— naked back w salt & hands (fancy)
— face cover w product
— sauna gals laughing
We’ve all done it. 40 years ago it made sense.
Share your blah blah peeves in comments!
Creativity is dynamic, never lazy.
Do the work.
Years ago I read a book on “Happiness.” The entire book came down to three things:
— doing what you want
— where you want
— with the people you want
That has been my mantra ever since. Professionally, it’s how I determine whether to take a project or not. Personally, it’s how I live, my time, effort, energy, & spirit.
It’s the process, not necessarily the outcome (which cannot be controlled anyway) that matters.
The author of the book was introduced by Spa & Wellness Icon, Ruth Stricker, Founder of The Marsh Health Retreat in Minnetonka, MN.
.... oh no! I just found out that after Ruth’s passing and the #plandemic, The Marsh, which opened in 1985, closed in 2022. Such a shame.
If any of you #spafolks or @ispadoyou remembers the name of the book and author, I would love to know so I can give credit. 🙏
I received the first part about twenty five years ago when I was working on a project and I heard that the contractor, who had previously been referring to me as the “Spa Lady” started calling me “Spa Bitch.”
I knew right then and there I had proudly made it through the resort development gauntlet. Since then I have managed to not only retain that name, but the infamy has only grown.
When I first start working with a new client, within a couple meetings, I gently inform them that at some point they will, inevitably, stop calling me “Spa Lady”. They laugh politely.
The other part, “Guru,” has been more difficult to accept. It first appeared in an article about me around 2007 or so. Having spent a decade in Japan, I cringed knowing that honorific should not be used lightly.
SPAd LLC (Sylvia Planning And design) celebrated its THIRTIETH Anniversary in 2024. I now feel a bit more comfortable wearing the “Guru” moniker, albeit still somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
I’m also now inspired and moved to share some of my knowledge and experience in a fresh format.
First and foremost, I want you to know that YOU, too, are a SPA BITCH GURU.
You, the Spa Bitch, embodies Yin – demanding, dark, moody, mysterious, chaotic, with unbridled creativity.
And, you, the Guru, is Yang – bright light, straightforward, obvious, orderly.
And you are so much more all at the same time because our inherent nature is fluid and never strictly one element or another. Come along & flow with the constant play of Yin & Yang that is @spabitchguru
☯️💟☯️
Sylvia
🙏 @joshchilders.c0m for your generosity & patience listening to my brand concepts and creating the beautiful mark & logos. Check out his CRAZY CREATIVE day job site. 🙏